Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
