Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
