That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
