That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
