Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
