i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
