she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
