You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
