careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
