I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
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