just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
