remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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