Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
