I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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