so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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