We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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