just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
