Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
