Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
