He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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