hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
