Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
