I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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