Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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