Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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