no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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