I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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