you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize