My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
