My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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