She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
