The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think i got beer on your cat.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
