There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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