this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
