you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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