Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
