If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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