Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
