well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
