Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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