Dual....:-)
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
