Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
