I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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