no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
