When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
