i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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