He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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