I wish I could punch you in the face.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
