we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I am one with the molecules
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
