If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
